Kissing with tongue (also known as French kissing) can be really pleasurable for some people, but you should make sure to introduce your tongue into your partner’s mouth slowly and sensually-unless you’ve both verbalized that you’re into more intense tongue action right off the bat. If everyone is down with tongue, introduce it slowly. “When she gets into a mode of trying to get a bunch of stuff done, that’s when I grab her and try to ground her with a longer kiss.” 4. The end result: You can feel a bit euphoric.Įrin, 38, from Washington, says she uses something like the six-second trick when her girlfriend is stressed. In addition, research shows that kissing may reduce cortisol, a stress hormone, while amping up the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine. First, your body releases the bonding hormone oxytocin when you kiss, so you feel more attached to your partner. What happens while you’re syncing? According to Ajjan, a lot, at least chemically speaking. But when you take the time to do it, “it’s an opportunity to really tune into and sync with each other, which can help you feel more connected.” “ The six-second kiss, as described by marriage and relationship expert John Gottman, is actually a pretty long kiss,” she says. But even if all you’re planning is a quick peck as a send-off or greeting, Ajjan says one of the most underrated tips for a great kiss is to elongate it. is wildly different from the passionate lip-lock you may crave after hours. The sweet forehead kiss you want at 8 a.m. Let your lips linger-even for shorter kisses. Everything is right in the world,” she tells SELF. “We start breathing in unison, and it calms me down. Indeed, AJ, 44, from Washington, says a good kiss with her girlfriend is like a form of meditation. To counteract the tendency to mentally meander, Ajjan recommends paying attention to what you can feel, hear, see, smell, and taste-a grounding technique often employed in mindfulness practice that can help you get out of your head and into your body. “Worrying about potential disasters at work is probably the worst enemy of in-the-moment kissing,” she tells SELF. Especially when our toddler-and sometimes her noisy toys-are in the room.”įor Elizabeth, 53, from Texas, bedtime and early morning ruminations about her job can quash an otherwise juicy opportunity to connect with her partner. “I have a hard time staying in the moment. For example, Jillian, a 31-year-old mother in California, tells SELF she gets easily distracted when she’s with her partner. But when other demands compete for your attention, being present can get tricky. If you’re in the early days of dating and steamy makeout sessions dominate your time together, congratulations. It bears repeating: Try to be in the moment. I’m 60 now and I still think of him in the most special way.” 2. “With my permission, he leaned in and gave me a gentle but firm kiss. “My date looked me in the eyes and said, ‘Would it be okay if I kissed you?’ I had never been asked by anyone before,” Norma tells SELF. Her best-ever kiss was when she was 15 years old, and the vocal consent was part of what made it so memorable. Norma, 60, from Canada, totally agrees about asking first.
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